


What a Day

by Nactoma



Category: No Fandom
Genre: Depression, Fat Shame, First work - Freeform, House Wife, Other, good start, poem
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-20
Updated: 2018-07-20
Packaged: 2019-06-13 16:55:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15369093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nactoma/pseuds/Nactoma
Summary: It's just a Promotion about battling my fat-depression





	What a Day

So...  
My Boyfriend says I'm pretty  
I don't hear that from anyone else  
Not really, not for long at least  
By that I mean my sadness has driven everyone I love away  
And they think I'm avoiding them  
Yet I look in the mirror and I don't see what my Boyfriend sees  
I look in and i only see...  
It's hard to explain  
I don't see a person  
I do but I don't  
I see a bag full of pieces of paper with regret written all over them  
I see a vile full of tears and puss  
I see a festering blister desperately needs to be popped.  
I see a book that's already too long, one that no one wants to read  
I know, harsh.  
But, You couldn't understand

So, I was taught at a young age  
That doing what you love  
Whether it be producing music, making clothes, working out,  
doing drugs, cooking food,  
drinking alcohol until you die from liver failure and especially leaving  
Your family for a "greater purpose" is perfectly fine, if you can afford your habits and see what you're doing, be it bad or good.  
I suppose that makes you better  
To know your strengths  
To know your weaknesses  
It's good to know.  
It's also good to know the truth  
That over half the people in America, North and South, drink and eat and smoke and inject themselves to death.  
Plenty more just work themselves into an early grave or do Father Time a favour and pluck yourself off  
Exactly what I've been meaning to do for all my life.

You understand right  
What I've been through  
I know you know heartbreak  
I know you've known pain  
I felt a connection,  
You've said it to me too  
But there isn't much to gain  
Then again I'm not much to loose  
You threw me in the trash  
Smashed, Degraded, Disfigured

The world can recognize  
That you are sad  
You're disgustingly anguished  
You're corrosion in disguise  
The life as you've known  
It isnt as you know today  
People in the 80's were happy  
Busy, hardworking Men and unfair  
Unfair to women who work harder  
Women who have to clean up  
Have children, Be pretty, Stay thin Wear Makeup, Put on heels,  
And buy those size -0 slimming  
Dresses that make you feel naked  
It's a general law  
And that's your job, To stay home  
And to stay alone, Like the bitch  
You were made to be.

So I say to myself  
I am not fat, but I'm not skinny  
I am not ugly, but I'm not pretty  
I am not short, but I am not tall  
My hair isn't long, but not boy-cut  
My skin isn't tan, nor porcelain  
My eyes aren't inspiring  
My ass isn't big or jiggly,  
but my stomach and sides are  
My boobs aren't appeasing,  
neither is my herniated bellybutton or my appendix scar across my belly  
My hair isn't a complimentive cloud  
of beauty and silky smoothness  
I look in the mirror  
My body, my skin, my face,  
My everything  
I hate to stand here and see  
I hate feeling myself in my skin  
I have to look though  
To remind myself  
That my boyfriend thinks I'm pretty and that's okay  
for only him to think so

**Author's Note:**

> Depression can claim anyone, it's for you to defeat it


End file.
